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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Change Your Mind Pt1

Change Your Mind Pt 1
Every woman regardless of how she looks has a body image issue in some way. Society's idea of beauty and standards of weight has given us a sense of inadequacy, and insecurity within ourselves. Many women believe that she has to be a beauty queen, or have a flawless body to live a fulfilling life or find a mate. NOT TURE!
Have you ever gone to the mall, or just simply walked down the street and observed the appearance of the women who have men? Don’t get me wrong, all of them are not unattractive. Maybe five percent of those women are magazine cover material. A majority of women who are in relationships, are average looking, slightly heavier, or much heavier than society's standards, and have imperfect bodies.
If a man rejects you because of your looks, or weight, it is not necessarily because he doesn’t like you or doesn’t find you attractive. His decision is based on society's standards of beauty, or what his peers and family may think of him dating someone who is "below standard". So don’t worry ladies, it’s not you!
How fulfilling can a relationship be if it is based on looks alone? For a man to choose a woman based only on superficial beauty is not only shallow but also pig headed. Hence, he does this for status purposes, to boost his self worth, and reputation.
Often women are so preoccupied about being chosen that they put themselves in a dangerous position. Waiting to be chosen gives the man the advantage in which the woman maintains the "lower hand" in the relationship. This causes the woman to become very vulnerable because she is placing all of the power into his hands which can result in low self esteem, and a broken heart.
Ladies what you need to do is change your mind set. This is not an easy task by far because your mind is already set in its mode. The first step is to unhype yourself. When you want to form a relationship, exclude all of the negative thoughts, and expectations that come from society that you have to look like a beauty queen. The more you accept the stigma that society has bestowed upon you; you will have a harder time finding a mate.
The Process
This is the starting process of changing the mindset. Go into a room, cut off the TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Stand in front of a full length mirror, undress, if you're really comfortable get naked. Close your eyes breathe deeply and say out loud:
1) I am a uniquely beautiful woman.
2) I like my body and my looks
3) I am sexy and sensual
4) I am a wonderful person, and the right man will be lucky to have me.
5) I radiate attractiveness
6) Someone has to be a quality person to interest me
7) I’m sure that sooner or later, I will enter into a relationship with someone who's right for me.
You have to repeat the process continuously in order for you to process this new information into your mind. Once the positivity takes effect, you'll be on your way to a happier you.

Saturday, August 7, 2010


I am an loyal reader of urban fiction. The very first novel I read was Never Die Alone by Donald Goiens (very good). This book sparked a flame in my heart, and it burns brightly for urban lit. Once I completed Never Die Alone, Dopefiend, Whoreson, Swamp Man, and my all time favorite Black Girl Lost followed (all by Donald Goiens). Since then, I've read a plethora of street lit books too many to name. But if you are a urban lit fan like I am, you will enjoy these authors tremendously.

Al-Saddiq Banks: The Block Party Series, Caught Em Slippin, No Exit
K'wan: Gangster, Gutter, Hoodlum, Eve, Street Dreams, The Hood Rat Series
Allison Hobbs: Big Juicy Lips, Double Dippin,Insatiable, The Climax
Ashley & Jaquavis: The Cartel Series, (Anything by Ashley and Jaquavis is very good)
Eric S. Grey: Poundcake
T.N. Baker: Dice
Treasure E. Blue: Keisha and Clyde, Harlem Girl Lost, Flexin & Sexin, A Street Girl Named Desire
Kashamba Williams: Driven, At Courts Mercy, Grimey, Blinded
Aletha & Myles Ramzee: Flippin The Game 1&2
Keith Lee Johnson: Little Black Girl Lost series
Noire: The G Spot, Unzipped, Candy Licker, Hood

Should We Retire The Term BBW???

The term BBW means Big Beautiful Woman. How do you feel about this label? I as well refer to myself as a BBW. But do you think that we need to label ourselves to feel less fat, and more beautiful? The term BBW also has an influence on how we're viewed in society. Many people believe that we created this term to pacify the pain of being fat, or not being able to feel sexy because we're plus size. Whether we are a size 14 or a 44, we have the right to feel beautiful. Who gives society the right to tell us that we arent beautiful or we hide behind a label to alleviate the pain of being fat? Why should we retire the term BBW? I think it is rather appropriate because I love it. Ladies what is your opinion on this?

Saturday, July 31, 2010

What do you love about you?

Ladies you have to love yourself. You are the only best friend you have in this world. If you dont love you, who will? Look into the mirror, smile, and say I LOVE YOU! The Lord created this wonderful, beautiful, smart, creative, sexy woman. I want to share the love inside my heart, with my other beautiful sisters of this earth. My smile is a thousand rays of sunshine that cast warm rays upon everyone I meet. With that said, I will tell you what I love about me.

I love my high cheek bones that slant my eyes everytime I smile
I love my white teeth behind my beautiful smile
I love my silky smooth dark chocolate skin, that runs all over my big beautiful body like warm chocolate milk
I love my firm voluptous breast
I love my applebottom booty that you can sit a plate on, and can make the strongest of men weak
I love my big strong legs

My list can go on and on. What do you love about you?

Trials of a BBw

I've been a big girl all of my life. I started off as a plump teen, then I evolved into a BBW. Since i've been old enough to date I cant help but notice how we're treated differently than woman who are not big. I was always told if you loose weight, then you'll find a good man. LOL how true is that? Ive had quite a few men in my life. However, I always tend to attract men at the bottom of the barrel while thin women have their choice of the "good" men. I've always felt bitter about that. I would date men but they would never take me out, just offer me company at my house with a promise of good sex (lol PSYCH). This issue spills into the men that I am attracted to. I always been attracted to athletic men, and when I tell people this, they laugh. They laugh because since I am plus size I shouldnt like muscular men, or men who are good looking. Big girls please tell me your experiences, and how you feel about this matter.